It's alright. It all comes right.

New York City apartment hunting.

I'm coming across listings highlighting amenities such as "high speed elevators" and a "24-hour doorman" and "tons of closet space" and "in-building laundry facilities". How foreign this city is to me! Why wouldn't a sofa, bed, desk, chair, and all my worldly possessions fit into a living space? Why wouldn't this studio come with a kitchen?

Some apartment listings are very up-front and honest: "BOX. ALL UTIL INCLUDED. NO ROOMMATE NEEDED", or, "BASEMENT LIVING. HRDWD FLRS. DARK. NO LANDLORD." Some gloat about the location, history, and newly renovated amenities only to reveal that they are actually in New Jersey or Montreal or in the deep crevices of East Harlem. Some insist that $900 per month is "cheap living" and assure you there isn't any catch to their "best deal in the city".

Oh, give me a tiny studio big enough for myself and two suitcases full of worldly things. Give me floor space enough to twirl to music in the morning as I get ready for the day. Give me exposed brick to warm my back against when I'm writing papers in bed. Give me a quiet rooftop with a wide view. Give me a safe walk home every night.

These hours spent scouring the internet for a new home leave me overwhelmed; I am navigating this next step so naively! And, oh, Lord God, You know.