fantastic.

Wisdom from a six year old.

Today Molly told me that even though some weeds are pretty, weeds are weeds and they will choke your tulips to death. "So you need to uproot them even if it hurts your heart," she says. No matter how beautiful a thing, if it gets in the way of beautiful and upright growing, it needs to die. She is a smart little lady.

all i need

my best friend in the whole world and the pacific ocean on a starry night. sharing a blanket and headphones. making a memory to jonsi's "tornado" by the marina. listening to gregory + the hawk's "boats and birds" on our backs. laying silently as the waves crash rhythmically along to yann tiersen's "summer '78". cracking up loudly as tom waits comes on shuffle. watching planes twinkle along to rogue wave's "eyes". mistaking seagulls for shooting stars (easier than you think). talks about "the old days". blasting death cab for cutie's "different names for the same thing", for old time's sake. feeling both invincible, perfectly content, safe. not wanting to blink or miss any of it. not wanting to get on that plane tomorrow.

tia i can already tell you that i'll be shouting a loud "mi manchi" down the coast to you tomorrow.

You won't relent until You have it all

my heart is Yours

i'll set You as a seal upon my heart

as a seal upon my arm

(misty edwards)

I was thinking today about how I wish I could take something like jars and fill them up with vivid memories and dear people and sweet scents and beautiful, truthful words spoken and laughs and incredible views and songs playing at the perfect moment. I wish I could put them all in a big room of shelves and just stand in the middle, surrounded by every good in my life all at once.

And then I remember that there is intensive living to be done outside the storage closet. Take courage and go at it, dear heart!

She & Him @ The Glass House, 15.04.10

I had so much fun! It was such an excellent performance, and I loved dancing and singing and clapping along in good company. Zooey is exactly what I'd envisioned, but dances like a 5 year old (which was endearing I think).

But Matthew Ward, my goodness, he made me melt in a puddle on the floor. I couldn't believe that eight feet in front of me was standing the man whose voice has non-stop filled my room (and my car, and my headphones, and my head) for weeks.

So so so so good.

I hope that one day you will have the experience of doing something you do not understand for someone you love.

This book, bought three weeks ago, is exactly what I need this week. Isn't it funny?

I would live in a Van Gogh painting.

i am in the heart of God.

i am surrounded.

looking, walking, being

i look and look.

looking's a way of being: one becomes,

sometimes, a pair of eyes walking.

walking wherever looking takes one.

the eyes

dig and burrow into the world.

they touch

fanfare, howl, madrigal, clamor.

world and the past of it,

not only

visible present, solid and shadow

that looks at one looking.

and language? rhythms

of echo and interruption?

that's

a way of breathing.

breathing to sustain

looking,

walking and looking,

through the world,

in it.

denise levertov

constantly on my mind

the tabarly score, on repeat in my head all day.

aching for a day napping in the sun on a boat.

lapping waves, salty air.

three weeks ago i wanted to graduate, hah.

just keep moving the bar, eh?

Sabrina Ward Harrison and I want similar things.

I want health and healing and holding close. I want treasures. I want similar souls. I want passionate yeses. I want to be blown away. I want to trust. I want calm gladness and prayers and deep true breath talks.

I want the love in my life to feel like a deep breath, a blushing laugh, a view across the Sea of Cortez. Always expanding and wider glowing.

I want to be cherished to my bones.